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tv   The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon  NBC  September 24, 2014 11:34pm-12:37am EDT

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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> steve: from studio 6b in rockefeller center in the heart of new york city, it's "the tonight show starring jimmy fallon." tonight, join jimmy and his guests -- andy samberg kevin durant
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musical guest kenny chesney and featuring the legendary roots crew. >> questlove: 131! >> steve: and now, here he is, jimmy fallon! ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, that's what i'm talking about right there! hot crowd, hot crowd! [ cheers and applause ] welcome to the "tonight show," everybody, thank you for being here. thank you so much everybody, it's going to be a good show tonight. here's what people are talking about, president obama, he is facing criticism over an incident yesterday where he was holding a cup of coffee in his
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hand and he used that same hand to salute a marine. though with all that's going on in the world, i'm surprised he didn't salute with a bottle of jack daniels and a cigarette in the other hand. [ cheers and applause ] oh boy -- it's been a rough week! that's right. obama had a coffee cup in his hand while he was saluting a a marine. which got even worse when biden did the same thing with a capri sun. [ laughter and applause ] you guys are strong, can you get the straw in there for me? [ laughter ] you guys are strong. [ laughter ] yesterday president obama said that over 40 countries have offered to help the u.s. fight isis. [ cheers and applause ] yeah. of course, they said it the same way your friends do when they promise to help you move. [ laughter ] it's like, hey, call me if i'm around. i'd love to help you, we'll get some pizzas, we'll make a party out of it. sounds like a fun party man. yeah, if i'm around, definitely. [ laughter ] and get this, because of all
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the security problems that they've been having at the white house, you know, the guy broke into the white house? made himself a sandwich, hung out, watched tv. [ laughter ] >> steve: saluted somebody with a coffee cup. >> jimmy: yeah, exactly. well, the secret service has set up a three-foot fence in front of it to deter -- [ laughter ] -- to deter people from trying to make their way in. [ laughter ] >> steve: three foot. >> jimmy: a three foot fence. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: it seems pretty low, but then again, most americans can't even get over the baby gate in their kitchen. so it's like -- [ cheers and applause ] how do you? go get daddy a beer! [ laughter and applause ] go get daddy a beer. i can't do this. secret service, has set up a a three-foot fence in front of the white house. this of course comes a day after the white house announced they're going to start locking the door. [ laughter ] it's a safety -- they're going above and beyond at the white house. they are thinking about this stuff. here are some other safety measures the white house is taking.
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one, they're approaching people as they enter the white house and saying -- you cool? [ laughter ] that's their policy. that's a policy now. they're also installing a six-inch moat filled with timid goldfish. [ laughter ] >> steve: who wants to get their shoes wet? >> jimmy: no not me, and finally they're having mccauley caulkin creat a party scene in the window with a a michael jordan cardboard cut out to make it look like someone is always at home. [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: hey, kid. >> jimmy: i also read that the federal government is starting to plan for climate change by making extended forecasts that can help people plan for extreme weather. because what can go wrong when you combine the efficiency of the government with the accuracy of weathermen? [ laughter ] perfect. that sounds like a great idea. [ applause ] did you see this? yesterday, a state senator in pennsylvania named jim ferlo made news when he came out
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during a press conference by saying quote, "i'm gay, get over it, i love it." pretty cool, yeah. [ applause ] yeah, that's great. his openness and honesty actually inspired a few other politicians to embrace their identities, too. >> steve: really? >> jimmy: for instance, mitch mcconnell said, "i'm a a turtle. get over it. i love it." >> steve: wow. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: he's a turtle. >> jimmy: god bless him. >> jimmy: harry reid said, "i'm the guy in that american gothic painting, get over it, i love it." [ laughter and applause ] and finally, anthony wiener said "i'm anthony wiener get over here, i love you. wait, how does this work again?" [ laughter and applause ] i don't know -- what? [ cheers and applause ] check this out. chicago mayor rahm emanual is calling on illinois lawmakers to decriminalize small amounts of marijuana. [ cheers and applause ] they said, "how small?" he said, "i don't know, how
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much is this?" [ laughter ] celebrity news, here, guys, a a little celebritah, kanye west has apparently been teaching a a class at a college in los angeles -- [ laughter ] -- as part of his punishment for a run-in with the paparazzi. and the students are like, "okay, but why are we getting punished?" i don't understand. [ laughter ] professor yeezus. this is sweet, honey boo boo's uncle, poodle -- [ laughter ] honey boo-boo's uncle, poodle he announced that he just got engaged to his boyfriend, allen. the family was shocked, they were like -- "what kind of a a name is allen? [ laughter ] should he have been pork rind or something? chicken wing?" [ laughter ] uh, listen to this the attorney general eric holder says that the number of inmates in federal prison has dropped for the first time since 1980.
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yeah. that either sounds like great news or a terrible way to announce a prison break. [ laughter ] i got good news, i got bad news. no prisoners in this prison. >> steve: they got out. >> jimmy: bad news is, yeah, a a dozen murderers are roaming the streets right now.. but yeah, we got a three-foot fence, so we're going to make sure -- [ laughter and applause ] they're contained in a little playpen! how the hell do we get out of here? i'll cut you if i can get out of here! >> steve: they locked the door! [ laughter ] ugh! >> jimmy: don't worry about it, everyone just lock your doors, you should be fine. [ laughter ] i can't get in there, i'll kill you! finally on early today i was watching cbs "this morning" and they cut to the local new york city news for a quick weather update. and i'm not sure if the weatherman was ready for them. but check this out, watch. >> time check your local weather. >> boy oh boy, oh boy, oh boy. so, yes. [ laughter ] derek jeter, tomorrow, chris reagan and i are talking about this, what options do the
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yankees have? i mean honestly -- this area of low pressure that rides up tomorrow looks like it lingers -- [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: yeah, right. trying to -- boy oh boy, oh boy, oh boy -- yoi yoi yoi -- derek jeter, what are they gonna do with derek jeter? oh yoi yoi. [ laughter ] the forecast is cloudy with chance of what's my job again? [ laughter ] on the bright side if the weather man is predicting the yankees are going to be in trouble after jeter, then i guess the yankees are going to the playoffs! so that's pretty good! [ laughter and applause ] we got a great show tonight, give it up for the roots, everybody! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy! >> steve: oi-vey [ laughter ] >> jimmy: how are you higbones?
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>> steve: i'm good. >> jimmy: you doing good? >> steve: fantastic, everything's cool. andy samberg's here, one of my favorite people on earth. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: he's a good man. he's a great guy, man. i'm happy for him, too. >> steve: a delight. we met him at the same time. >> jimmy: that's right, we were all writing for -- >> steve: the movie awards. >> jimmy: the movie awards on mtv. that's when i met andy, yeah. that's right. >> steve: a delight. >> jimmy: he's a good man. it's been a great week so far. i can't wait, as you said andy is coming up. but tomorrow night we have chris pratt, [ applause ] who's hosting the season premiere of "saturday night live" this saturday. >> steve: hillarious upstairs, fantastic. >> jimmy: my favorite time of year. >> steve: super funny. >> jimmy: "saturday night live" is back. also we have john mellencamp. >> steve: come on! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: he might even -- is he going to sit in with you guys? >> yeah. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's going to be fun, sitting in with the roots. and then on friday, matthew broderick, nathan lane and robert plant will all be joining us! >> steve: what!? flip the desk! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: flip the desk on that one. but tonight is the one you got to see.
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we have a great show tonight. he is hilarious on "brooklyn nine-nine" and a good buddy of ours, we love him so much. it couldn't happen to nicer guy, a funnier guy, andy samberg is here, you guys. "brooklyn nine-nine"! plus, he's the reigning nba mvp, and the face of the new nba 2k15 game, the durantula, kevin durant is in the house! [ cheers and applause ] cool dude. he's short. >> steve: what? >> jimmy: he's really short. >> steve: is he really? >> jimmy: he's 4'9." >> steve: is he really? >> jimmy: yeah. >> steve: well then he would have trouble getting over that three foot fence. >> jimmy: that is true. [ laughter ] we'll ask him about that when he comes out. and then we have a performance from, wow, he's great. country music superstar, you know who i'm talking about. kenny chesney is in the house tonight! [ cheers and applause ] yeah, he always puts on a good show, kenny chesney. guys, we're always looking for feedback here at the "tonight
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show." so recently we reached out to a a bunch of elementary school kids, from around the country, and we asked them to write us letters about the show. things they liked, things they think we could do better. things that -- they'd do if they were in charge. so here's our first installment of "tonight show" kid letters. here we go. ♪ tonight show kid's letters kids letters tonight show ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: before we start i want to stress that these are actual letters that kids sent me. they're 100 percent real. okay. here we go. this first one is from leah. she's in fourth grade, she says -- dear mr. fallon, first of all i like to congratulate you on your successful career on being a comedian. my advice is to not go above your expectations. [ laughter ] if you can't do a joke, don't do it. [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: don't go beyond your expectations. lay low. low. >> jimmy: but then leah submitted some material. [ laughter ]
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yup. she goes, here are two jokes for you. number one, what do you call a a moose that drinks blood? a moosquito. [ laughter ] number two, what did the buffalo say to his kid on the first day of school? bison. >> steve: oh! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: your pal and biggest fan, leah, fourth grade. leah also sent in a drawing. the two of us doing the moosquito joke. [ laughter ] i think you might in trouble for a job, buddy. sorry. >> steve: i want to get that -- i like your lumberjack shirt. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's how i normally dress and i'm also the face of brawny, paper towels, very proud of that. [ laughter ] >> steve: they're quite absorbant. [ laughter ] really work well. >> jimmy: that's me on the cover of brawny paper towels. >> steve: i know, fantastic. >> jimmy: thank you very much. i appreciate that. >> steve: not enough people give you props for that. >> jimmy: i appreciate that, man. hey, that's coming from the heart, man. >> steve: yeah, coming right
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from the heart, you look great on that paper towel. >> jimmy: you only need one paper towel for two months. [ laughter ] >> steve: i know, it's great. fantastic. >> jimmy: i was recently fired from the browny company. >> steve: what happened? >> jimmy: i made up that slogan. >> steve: oh really? they got sued a lot? >> jimmy: it turns out it's not true. you need more than one paper towel. [ laughter ] >> steve: like how many do you need? >> jimmy: anywhere between like 20 and 50. [ laughter ] here's one we got up next letter from a third grader named ben. said if you see mrs. obama on again, please tell her i said hi and she's the reason i'm getting into hummus. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] he's getting into hummus. >> steve: yeah, she's the reason. >> jimmy: good for you, ben. hummus is awesome. everybody knows that. and first lady, michelle obama, if you're watching, ben says hi. [ laughter ] i'm getting into hummus, yeah. this is from a third grader named payton. to avoid making mistakes, mr. jimmy, you should really focus and pretend that you're actually doing the real show. [ laughter ] if you actually practice and
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focus, you can tell the jokes right and the crowd will go wild. [ laughter ] before the show starts every day, you should take some deep breaths and pull it all in and if you have time, you should go over your lines so you won't mess up. [ laughter ] good luck, mr. jimmy, i know can you get better. love payton. [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: was he here tonight? i think he was here tonight. [ cheers and applause ] we're down to our last letter. this one is from sophia. she's in third grade and she says -- dear mr. kimmel, i think your tonight is hilarious, when i watch tight pants, i laugh my guts out. [ laughter ] sophia, thank you so much for the letter. i will definetly pass it along to mr. kimmel. [ cheers and applause ] thanks to all the kids who sent us letters. keep them coming. we love to hear from you. send us your letter and drawing to kid letters at the tonight we'll be back with andy samberg! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ honey, are you ok?
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(crying) she's being so nice. i'd prefer you didn't watch these when you're pregnant. sweetie. ♪ could it be i'm falling in love... ♪ (in an english accent) with your pea coat and your stomping around with your bobbies. is the audition to play a portuguese guy? no, british. you are really going for it. eyes are muscles too. with the best screen of any tablet, the new samsung galaxy tab s is the world's most entertaining device. get it now at at devry university, a business career was my goal. my professors guidance, helped me find career success... at microsoft get started now, with our $20,000 merit based career catalyst scholarship. classes start october 27. visit exists 150 years of swedish coffee experience. that's 150 years of experience in perfecting
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♪ [ cheers and applause ]
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>> jimmy: our first guest -- is a "saturday night live" alum and golden globe winning star of "brooklyn nine-nine," which returns for a second season this sunday at 8:30 after "the simpsons" on fox. ladies and gentlemen, please welcome andy samberg! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: andy samberg! my man! andy samberg! this is your first, your first time on our "tonight show." >> yeah, the fallon "tonight show." >> jimmy: yeah. >> the one starring you. >> jimmy: yeah. so welcome to the show. >> thank you very much. good to be here. >> jimmy: thank you for being here, man. for the first time -- yeah. -- the roots are there. >> yeah. hey, roots! >> jimmy: but dude, look at you now, here you are, "brooklyn
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nine-nine." it's killing it. you're killing it out there. >> thank you. >> jimmy: you won the golden globe. >> yep. >> jimmy: best show, best actor. >> crazy. crazy. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we're all going nuts. you actually have your own hamburger? >> yeah. >> jimmy: someone named a a hamburger after you. the samberger. >> yes. you know umami burger? >> jimmy: umami burger. >> yeah, umami burger. they're a chain in l.a. and it's growing fast, delicious. and they approached me and they were like, "heym, the syllable "berg" is in your name." [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: that's why you got the -- >> yeah. well they've done this, like, artist series, they did the black keys did one and slash from guns 'n roses did one. and -- so they asked me, like, "hey, do you want to design a a burger with us?" and i was like, "yeah, i'm not going to say no to designing a a burger." >> jimmy: yeah! >> so -- >> jimmy: samberger. >> so, yeah. we talked about a bunch of ideas, and one idea i had was -- the ingredients you would put on a chicago dog, except you put them on a burger. even though i have no affiliation with chicago, whatsoever.
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[ laughter ] >> jimmy: you're not from chicago. >> not from chi -- i've been to chicago maybe five times total. but every time, i get a chicago dog. my buddy, keva loves them. you know keva. >> jimmy: yeah. kev, yeah! >> he's always like, "we gotta get chicago dogs." to the point where there's a a restaurant in burbank now in l.a. that joe mantegna, opened up. the actor joe mantegna -- he's got a chicago-themed restaurant in burbank. and they have real style chicago dogs and we like go there on special treats just to get chicago dogs. >> jimmy: we brought -- or you brought us a couple umami burgers. so we can try it out. this is the samberger. >> this is it. jimmy: this is it right here. this is what they look like. >> please view them. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no, i swear. >> here's a human foot! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh yeah, look. so they stamp them with a a little "u" on the top. >> a little "u" for the umami. it's got four peppers, celery salt, a little pickle relish. >> jimmy: yeah! >> god, i wish you guys could all taste it! >> jimmy: we'll pass one around. >> you going to try it? >> jimmy: gonna try it right now. absolutely. yeah. this is awesome. you think anyone else with "berg" could have -- like a a whoopi goldberger. [ laughter ] >> i don't know.
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whoopi goldberger. that's killer. it'd have like a blooming onion for the dreadlocks. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's a good idea. >> i'll call her. >> jimmy: you can do the heisenberger. >> heisenberger. >> jimmy: from "breaking bad." you could put, like, meth on it. [ laughter ] when you get your burger, be like, "here's your burger, bitch." [ laughter ] >> a lot of repeat customers on that one. [ talking with mouth full ] >> jimmy: how about "brooklyn nine-nine?" >> let's talk about "brooklyn nine-nine." >> jimmy: -- thank you for understanding me. here you go, buddy. >> oh, thank you. life on the grease end. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: -- congrats on -- man, oh man is that a funny show. and i know -- >> thank you. >> jimmy: --our pal mike schur, who we know from "saturday night live." >> yep, yep. >> jimmy: dan goor. >> yeah. >> jimmy: those guys work on the show, and it's just man, oh man. it must be -- it's a blast.
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you can see all the hard work that goes into it, but gosh, good jokes. >> it's a good -- it's really good writing staff and the cast is just incredible. so much fun to work with. >> jimmy: and you're going over to sundays now? >> yeah, we're on after "the simpsons." >> jimmy: up top! come on, man! [ cheers and applause ] >> crazy town! >> jimmy: what is going on? that's the best! >> i can't even believe it. >> jimmy: can you even believe that? >> they did a, they did an ad and it's like -- me and homer simpson. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: i mean, that's a a dream come true, my man. >> if my like, child self created a future time machine and go and like fix everything like this in "back to the future"? >> jimmy: you wouldn't change a a thing, right? >> no! >> jimmy: no. there should be a crossover episode. >> yeah! right? >> jimmy: where you come on and -- >> because they're doing one with "family guy," is that why this comes to mind? they're doing a crossover episode. >> jimmy: oh, they are? >> "simpsons" and "family guy." >> jimmy: who is the police officer on "the simpsons"? >> wiggum. >> jimmy: wiggum. >> chief wiggum. >> jimmy: chief wiggum hooks up with the "brooklyn nine-nine" guys. [ wiggum impression ] [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you do all the impressions of everyone on "the
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simpsons." the kid in my college could do everybody. >> he could do them all? >> jimmy: yeah, it just got boring after a while. [ light laughter ] [ simpsons impression ] "how you doing there, homer?" he'd do all these people and we'd go, "oh, my god. we're only up to like ten characters and there was like a a thousand." you're like, "this is really talented, but we got to get back to the party, man." but what is happening with your character on "brooklyn nine-nine" this season? >> he will -- the last season ended, he was going undercover with, to try and take down the mob. >> jimmy: of course you should. >> yeah. >> jimmy: that's what you should be doing. send in andy samberg to do that. detective jake peralta. >> i got voted most likely to take down the mob in an undercover sting in my high school yearbook. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that is such a weird coincidence. >> yeah, that guy who is always doing the "deep thoughts" quotes. >> jimmy: that's who you were? >> yeah. that was me. >> jimmy: what are you doing? >> so yeah, i -- it sort of picks up, i'm like deep undercover already. [ light laughter ] it's good, right? >> jimmy: this is unbelievable. >> it's pretty tasty. every one of them sold goes a a great cause, a charity i chose. >> jimmy: that's true, right? they do. what does it go to? >> it's called "seed", it's
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a -- now i'm gonna talk about it. it's program in the bay area that helps children with hearing loss or that are deaf to acclimate into schools and have their families come in with them and help them learn sign and how to basically adapt and adjust to life a little bit. >> jimmy: really? >> yeah. >> jimmy: that's great. [ cheers and applause ] so every time you eat a a samberger -- hey, that's a nice thing, buddy. >> yeah. yeah. my mom, my mom was a teacher in that. >> jimmy: oh, really? >> my mom is fluent in sign language and worked in that field for a long time. >> jimmy: good for you. >> she recommended it to me. >> jimmy: that's awesome, dude. >> yeah. >> jimmy: well, we love you. you're always a nice guy and giving back. not only are you a tv star, a a charitable star, you also know a lot about movies. >> yeah. encyclopedic? >> both: yeah. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: so andy samberg and i are going do five-second movie summaries after the break. it's a new game. i think you'll like it. that's a great burger! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] [ siri] hello. what's your name?
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[cortana] hello siri. i'm cortana. we've already met. i'm sorry. i don't remember. that's ok. i can remember lots of things. like your favorite kinds of restaurants. i cannot remember that. i can remember appointments and help you get there on time. or that. or remember favorite news topics. or that either. siri, what can you remember? i remember when i was the only phone that talked. ♪ looks like we're about to board. mm-hmm. i'm just comparing car insurance rates at is that where they show the other guys' rates, too? mm-hmm. cool. yeah. hi.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: guys, welcome back, we're here with andy samberg!
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[ cheers and applause ] now andy, it's all over your wikipedia page. it's all on your facebook profile. >> mm-hmm. >> jimmy: are you on facebook? >> do we have time for a funny story? >> jimmy: yeah. >> i'm actually on facebook. but i only have one friend. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: wait, what? >> i have one friend. it's a private account, i have one friend on facebook. >> jimmy: who's your friend? >> mark zuckerberg. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: no way, is that right? >> yeah, we were at facebook doing an event and we were in his office hanging out cause you know, he did snl so we're sort of friendly. and it somehow came up. he was like, "you know when you're in your account?" i was like, "oh, i'm actually not on facebook." and he was like, "wha -- what?" >> jimmy: "oh my god!" [ laughter ] "w-w-what?" >> he was genuinely -- i mean, he was shocked. he's like "why? why aren't you on facebook? why aren't you one facebook?"
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and i was like, "i just, am in touch with everyone i want to be in touch with. i'm fine." he's like, "you should have an account. you should have one just so you should have it. and i was like -- >> jimmy: he set up your facebook account? [ laughter ] >> i was like if you set up my account and you're my only friend so i can tell this on a a talk show -- [ laughter ] and it's a private account and none of your friends start like asking me, emailing me and stuff. and he was "like, totally, it's totally fine." i went to the bathroom. i came back, it was done. he's like, "you're all set up" and then the following week i started getting emails and friend requests from his friends and i -- texted him and i was like, "hey, man." >> jimmy: dude, you had a deal. >> i hate to do this to you -- [ laughter ] head of facebook, but i think i need some tech support here. >> jimmy: talking to the man himself. >> yeah, and he was so cool about it. he was like, "go in your settings and then go to --" [ laughter and applause ] totally like walked me through it. and it worked! of course, it totally worked. so yeah now there's some dormant facebook account out there and it's just me and the zuck! [ laughter ]
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>> jimmy: that's so fantastic. so andy samberg, now you've been in some movies and would you say that you know a lot about movies? >> i would say, modestly, i know everything about every movie ever made. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's very modest. now do you think you know enough about movies that you'd be able to summarize them in just five seconds? >> yeah. >> jimmy: well, let's give it a a shot. it's time to play a game called five-second summary. ♪ one two three four five second summeries ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: all right, here's how the game works. i have a stack of cards right here. each card has a movie title on it as soon as you look at the card, you have five seconds to describe the plot of the movie, the best you can and try to make me guess which movie it is. >> okay. >> jimmy: you can't use any words of the title and you can't say any of the actors' names. >> no actors' names, no words in the title. >> jimmy: describe the plot of the movie in five seconds. >> and what are we playing for? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: ten sambergers. >> i think i can probably get a a good deal. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: ten zuckerburgers. >> zuckerbergers --
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>> jimmy: does he have burger? it would just be like smushed in a laptop? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: more of a cuban sandwhich. all right, you're up first, we'll put five seconds on the clock. >> all right, this is me? >> jimmy: yeah, this is you. >> okay. >> jimmy: first cards you. >> okay, so, the clock starts when i pick this up and look at it or i look at it and then i -- >> jimmy: pick it up, look at it and the clock starts. [ light laughter ] i'm not going to look at you, you or it. or the clock. >> all right. >> jimmy: or the clock. >> all right. >> jimmy: yep. >> here we go. >> jimmy: that's right. this was a relationship via the internet. from the '90s. [ buzzer ] >> jimmy: "basic instinct"? i have no idea. [ buzzer ] [ laughter ] i didn't see that one either -- >> if it was "basic instinct" i would've just gone like that. >> jimmy: oh, hey -- [ laughter and applause ] what was it? >> "you've got mail." >> jimmy: oh, "you've got mail." i forgot about that one. >> a relationship via the internet. >> jimmy: that was a great one. [ laughter ] ready? >> black guy, white guy, aliens, sunglasses, suits. >> "independence day" -- "men
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in black"? >> jimmy: yes! that's it. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> i just watched "independence day" and there is a white guy and a black guy and aliens. >> jimmy: the same plot. [ laughter ] both of those movies have the same plot very good. now this round is a little tougher. we only have three seconds. >> why? >> jimmy: yes, because you need to put people on edge. >> i'm allready all the way on it. >> jimmy: we have to keep the viewers andy. three seconds. >> if i was any more on edge, i would be bono, almost -- [ laughter ] it almost worked. ♪ >> jimmy: bono is never on the edge. >> if they were lovers. i should have said if they were lovers. >> jimmy: the whole thing -- it's a very complicated premise. >> you don't know they're not lovers, dude. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you never know, man. >> open your mind, jimmy! >> jimmy: are you the one the tour bus? you're the one that goes on tour with them? >> they might have had a tryst. rattle and hum tour. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: which one rattled? >> which one hummed? >> jimmy: all right.
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: three seconds on the clock. >> those guys don't pronounce ts. "raddlin' humhar." >> jimmy: [ gibberish ] >> all right, here we go. three seconds on the clock. the impossible game for burgers that will never be bought. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i will, i'll buy them. i promise. >> i'm never going to eat ten burgers. all right here we go. [ nicolas cage impression ] this plane is going down! [ buzzer ] >> jimmy: nicolas cage -- some type of, one of those things where the plane is going down. oh wait -- "con air"! >> yeah! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] wait. >> jimmy: that was good. >> wait, should i have been happy or should i have been bummed? i wanted the burgers. >> jimmy: either way you get the burgers, all right? >> that's not the point man. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah yeah yeah. okay, ready? but -- you should've been bummed probably, i'm winning this game. >> marshall law, with this game.
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>> jimmy: here we go, you ready? three seconds. [stylone voice] i'll tell you what -- [schwarzenegger voice] i'll get the explosions -- [ laughter ] [ buzzer ] >> uh -- "expendables"? >> jimmy: yeah! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] we're rooting for each other to win it. >> that's the only one they've been in together. >> jimmy: final round, let's put one second on the clock. [ laughter ] you got to keep people on the edge. >> for who is this for, one second on the clock? >> jimmy: people on the edge of their seats. ridin' the line, you got ride the line sometimes, my man. >> is it bad if they're so far on the edge of their seats that they leave? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: they might fall on the floor, that's what you want. >> all right. >> jimmy: mm-hmm. >> one second. >> jimmy: one second. >> if i guess, if i get this and you guess it, does that mean i get the burgers? >> jimmy: i'm going buy burgers for your crew. at "brooklyn nine-nine." >> oh snap. [ laughter ] the heat is on. but -- do i have to get it for everyone on your show? >> jimmy: just play the game!
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[ laughter ] are you doing the math in your head? you're like, "there's a lot of roots. there's at least eight roots." yeah, yeah, yeah. >> that's some skrilla scratch, jimmy. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: "i'm a newlywed man. we're saving up." >> all right, here we go. [ sigh ] i'm in the cheerios! [ buzzer ] >> jimmy: honey nut cheerios? i'm in the cheerios. "honey, i shrunk the kids"! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: the winner, andy samberg! i buying burgers for the crew. [ cheers and applause ] that was great, "brooklyn nine-nine" airs sundays at 8:30 on fox. we'll be right back with kevin durant! ♪ ♪
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don't believe tom corbett's tv ad. the facts speak for themselves. tom corbett cut a billion dollars from our schools. he took an ax to education. twenty-seven thousand educators were laid-off. class sizes increased. and now almost eighty percent of school districts plan to raise property taxes. tom corbett. can't trust him on education. can't trust him to be for us.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: at the age of 25, our next guest is an olympic gold
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medalist, a five-time nba all-star, a four-time nba scoring champion, and last season's most valuable player. he's also, the cover athlete of nba 2k15. that's the really cool deal right there. it's going to be available october 7th. please welcome from the oklahoma city thunder, the mvp of the national basketball association, kevin durant! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's what i'm talking about, yeah! kevin durant, thank you for stopping by. always look sharp, my man. >> thank you. >> jimmy: i thought you were much shorter. [ laughter ] >> i don't see how. >> jimmy: yeah. maybe you're sitting down or something. yeah. thanks for being here, buddy. i got the congrats for your mvp. >> thanks a lot, man. appreciate it. >> jimmy: that was -- that was just -- [ cheers and applause ]
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well deserved -- well deserved but also the speech you gave when you, when you got, when you accepted the award, if you haven't seen it, go on youtube, check it out. it is -- it will make you cry. you say the nicest things about your mom and your mom was there. and man oh man, it was heart-felt and just -- it was just so nice. i think everyone just like totally, like, fell in love with you all over again. it was like, what a good kid. my mom was like -- "where's my speech?" [ laughter ] you never cry at me and tell me how great i was." i love you mom. you're the greatest. did you see it, andy? >> i cried a lot. >> jimmy: you did? >> andy: yeah, i cried a lot yeah. >> sorry. >> andy: it was very -- no it was moving. >> jimmy: it was moving. it was really, really nice. did you know what you were going to say when you went up there? >> no. i kind of, like, winged it. i was going to go up there for five minutes and just say "thank you." i was going to try be real simple and but like, firm and like hit people in the face, so i was just going to say "thank you" and walk off. >> jimmy: yeah. [ laughter ] >> i really was going to do that. but then i was like, "nah, i
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want sit up here for 30 minutes and cry -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you planned that out. yeah, and then you were gonna stay for 30 minutes and cry. but you -- you thanked everybody and when you got to your mom, you really went for it. and they -- i don't know if you saw it but the camera cut to your mom too and it was so cute. and she was like -- it was just -- talking about your brother and, the one thing that got me, was saying that you -- your earliest memory of -- that really i know, andy, sorry for bringing it up -- >> andy: i'm just getting a a little emotional there. >> jimmy: you say that one of your first, best memories is when you all went to your first apartment -- >> yeah. >> jimmy: and you just saw there's no bed or anything. >> just sat in the living room like a group hug and once we were done it was like, "break, time to get to work." >> jimmy: no you didn't say that. did you say "break, it's time to get to work?" >> yeah. >> jimmy: but you all hugged each other? >> it was a milestone for our family so -- >> jimmy: yeah! that's a big deal. >> a huge deal. >> jimmy: and now here you are, mvp, that was like -- it's the greatest speech you got to see it. it's really, really cool. congratulations on that, buddy. >> thanks a lot.
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[ applause ] >> jimmy: the cover of the video game now. that's crazy. are you -- are you good at this game? >> i'm really good. 15 years -- i've been playing for 15 years, i have to be pretty good. >> jimmy: because i've beaten tiger woods at his own video game. i don't care. i've beaten, i beat pierce brosnan at "golden eye." [ laughter ] yeah, i got the golden gun, take care of business man. >> i was nice in that game, too. >> jimmy: yeah, thanks so this game, are you actually decent at this one? >> i'm really good, not decent, like i'm really good. >> jimmy: so good, do you have a nickname and stuff? >> no, i get in my mode though so when we play, me and my boys, we play, we got in the summertime, like ten of us and we have kind of a tournament, a a summer-long tournament. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and we lock in. i broke plenty of controllers. [ laughter ] my brother, my brother, he's not allowed to play anymore, because he'll break my tv. [ laughter ] he's one of those guys that like -- he's one of those guys that like -- "man, the computer is making him do this but he don't make
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me do that." >> jimmy: no, yeah. i know those guys. yeah, yeah. there's a glitch, something wrong with the controller. the batteries are dead. >> he's a loser but -- >> jimmy: you play as you? >> no, that's kind of arrogant. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: no, not to play as you. who do you play as? >> uh, anybody. >> jimmy: just tell me, who do you play as? >> all right, lebron. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i'll play with you, i'll play with you when i go online. i'll play with you. >> all right, that's cool. >> jimmy: you're not that excited about that it's not quite the same at all. but you haven't seen my skills yet, man, i do the double dribble. >> steve: i would trust durant is better. >> jimmy: yeah, i'll be you and play you as lebron and i'll beat you, you'll beat yourself. [ light laughter ] >> whatever you say, we'll do it. >> jimmy: all right, yeah, good, all right, cool. you guys, kevin durant. give it up to this guy. [ cheers and applause ]
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the mvp right here. kennychesney performs after the break. stick around, everybody! ♪ [door bell rings] ♪ [door bell rings] [phone rings] hello. heh. heh. heh-he-he... t-mobile's is the first national network to give you wi-fi calling. now every wi-fi connection works like a t-mobile tower. it's wi-fi unleashed. and she gave me advice. she said, "dad, go pro with crest pro-health." [ male announcer ] 4 out of 5 dentists confirmed these pro-health products helped maintain a professional clean. crest pro-health really brought my mouth to the next level. [ male announcer ] go pro with crest pro-health.
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whoa, whoa, whoa. let me see those pants! jennie: my pants? amy: the court orders that you pivot, as to see the pants. so you like to look good in pants, huh? where did these pants come from? jennie: old navy. amy: how much were they? jennie: pixie pants are 25 dollars. amy: doesn't add up ma'am. jennie: all pants and jeans are on sale starting at $19, but not for long. amy: helen, can you read that back please? helen: but not for long... amy: paul, what do you think of those pants? i think the pants would be, in a better home, if they were on my legs. so... court's adjourned until we get those pants. helen let's go, you drive! chop chop! at devry university, a business career was my goal. my professors guidance, helped me find career success... at microsoft get started now, with our $20,000 merit based career catalyst scholarship. classes start october 27. visit
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guest is a a country music super star and a great friend of the show, whose new album, "the big revival," was just released yesterday. here to perform his chart-topping single, "american kids" please welcome kenny chesney! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ hey ♪ ♪ doublewide quick stop midnight t-top ♪ ♪ jack in her cherry coke town momma and daddy put their roots ♪ ♪ right here 'cause this is where the car broke down ♪ ♪ yellow dog school bus kickin' up red dust ♪
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♪ pickin' us up by a barbed wire fence mtv on the rca no ac in the vents ♪ ♪ we were jesus save me blue jean baby born in the usa ♪ ♪ trailer park truck stop faded little map dots ♪ ♪ new york to la we were teenage dreamin' front seat leanin' ♪ ♪ baby come give me a kiss put me on the cover of the rolling stone ♪ ♪ uptown down home american kids ♪ ♪ growin' up in little pink houses makin' out on living room couches ♪ ♪ blowin' that smoke on saturday night a little messed up but we're all alright ♪ ♪ baptist church parkin' lot tryin' not to get caught ♪ ♪ take her home and give her your jacket makin' it to second base but sayin' you went ♪ ♪ all the way monday afternoon at practice ♪ ♪ sister's got a boyfriend daddy doesn't like ♪
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♪ now he's sittin' out back 3030 in his lap in the blue bug zapper light ♪ ♪ we were jesus save me blue jean baby born in the usa ♪ ♪ trailer park truck stop faded little map dots ♪ ♪ new york to la we were teenage dreamin' front seat leanin' ♪ ♪ baby, come give me a kiss put me on the cover of the rolling stone ♪ ♪ uptown down home american kids ♪ ♪ growin' up in little pink houses makin' out on living room couches ♪ ♪ blowin' that smoke on saturday night a little messed up but we're all alright ♪ ♪ ♪ hey hey ♪ ♪ we were jesus save me blue jean baby born in the usa ♪ ♪ trailer park truck stop
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faded little map dots new york to la ♪ ♪ we were teenage dreamin' front seat leanin' ♪ ♪ baby, come give me a kiss put me on the cover of the rolling stone ♪ ♪ uptown down home american kids ♪ ♪ growin' up in little pink houses makin' out on living room couches ♪ ♪ blowin' that smoke on saturday night a little messed up but we're all alright ♪ ♪ hey [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: kenny chesney! kenny chesney, "the big revival" is in stores right now! we'll be right back, everybody! ♪ [ cheers and applause ]
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: my thank you to andy samberg, kevin durant, kenny chesney right there, ladies and gentlemen! and the roots, from philadelphia! [ cheers and applause ] stay tuned for "late night" with seth myers, thank you for watching, have a great night, hope to see you tomorrow. thank you! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight -- stephen king, nba star, james harden, music from sam hunt,


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